How is your relationship with the roommate

help I'm with my roommate;)

lacerise:

has someone perhaps had similar experiences?

yes ... at least similar. we were first roommates, then friends and then at some point there was more. however, there were four of us in total or later the three of us. roommates, i mean. so it wasn't just the two of us. and neither of us were new to town. therefore everyone already had their own circle of friends and fortunately we did not have the problem that the social life of one was dependent on that of the other. if anything, it would have been the other way around at the time, since my circle of friends was a bit larger and more available than his.

I can understand that you don't want to make your entire social life or your leisure time completely dependent on him and I also think it's good that you want to build up your own circle of friends (without wanting to paint the devil on the wall now, but you know never where a relationship develops), but I still don't quite see the problem.
i don't think that at the very beginning of a relationship he feels pressured by you because you spend almost every free minute with him. I mean, don't you always do that at the very beginning of a relationship anyway? or at least want to?
and in time you will surely get to know other people as well, completely independent of him. or are you both doing completely the same thing? in other words, same studies / same job?

Incidentally, the lack of a retreat never bothered me. on the contrary. i actually found the nice thing about the relationship that we lived together from the beginning. it just felt so “right” to always have him near me. as if it had never been otherwise. as a result, there was never such a thing as nasty surprises. I had already seen his worst quirks and crashes before that. even before any feelings were there. therefore, there was never that moment when you take off your rose-colored glasses for the first time and wonder how you could have overlooked certain properties or whatever. : redOO:

but that was the worst part of it when he moved out. even though he left and i stayed in the apartment with the others, i lost not only my boyfriend at that moment, but somehow also my home. because without him it was no longer complete. there was always something missing that was there from the beginning.