Can I lose weight by vomiting
Losing weight, binge eating, vomiting
Claudia Siebert has experienced different forms of eating disorder.
With some there were constant weight fluctuations, as with Clara Fischer, who says: “The first few years it was more like controlling, […] and then it really turned into the opposite and I got a lot very quickly also increased. [...] So it actually went on for the next few years either increased, decreased, increased, decreased ”. The eating disorder has accompanied some of our storytellers for many years.
What happens in the eating disorder?
All of our storytellers have had periods in which they restricted their food intake or even starved for a long time (see onset of the eating disorder). Some make it clear how their desire to limit their intake of food or calories gradually took on almost “bizarre” forms. Hanna Becker says that in the end it was all about eating a piece of apple more or less. In retrospect, some of the narrators find it hard to believe how much they have restricted themselves. Some say that it was (or is) no longer possible for them to eat certain foods.
Some of our narrators describe binge eating when they ate very large amounts of food in a very short period of time. They often speak of “eating” themselves. In all of them, the binge eating was preceded by at least a short period of starvation or massive restriction of food. Many say that they hid the binge eating and went to places where they could "devour everything" unobserved (see Hiding and Tricks). Some planned their binge eating carefully, others hoarded food for a long time and then gave in to the binge at certain moments. Many describe the binge eating as a massive loss of control, a "frenzy of eating", an unrestrained "urge", an "addiction" or a "delusion". The mind can be completely absorbed in the desire to eat. Laura Brunner sometimes ate the food of her roommates.
Sophia Gesinger says that everything else became unimportant during a binge eating.
Carina Wintergarten describes the binge eating like an addiction to cigarettes.
Regardless of whether they restricted their food exclusively or whether they also experienced binge eating, our narrators report strategies for “getting rid of” food or calories. Some went through periods of making themselves vomit food. Very often they experienced vomiting in connection with previous binge eating - many describe a real cycle of "eating and vomiting". For a long time, Sophia Gesinger thought that she could simply stop vomiting, but on the contrary, it quickly became more and more common. Others began to exercise increasingly excessively or use laxatives to "get rid of" the food they had eaten.
Katharina Wagner finds it difficult to eat in moderation and not to vomit.
Sophia Gesinger is disgusted with vomiting, but she can't stand to stop.
Some of the narrators, who had both phases in which they severely restricted their eating and phases of binge eating and vomiting, describe that they experienced an extreme change: for them, restricting food was associated with control, pride and self-control Eating and vomiting with a massive loss of control, disgust and self-loathing. Many only noticed in retrospect what massive consequences their eating behavior had on their physical condition, their emotional world and their everyday life with others (see Physical Consequences, Thoughts and Feelings in the Eating Disorder, Effects on Everyday Life).
The eating disorder affects all of life
Some of the narrators report how much time they spend planning meals a day. For some, this was accompanied by an increasing loss of flexibility throughout life (see Everyday Life with the Eating Disorder). Some narrators, who mainly restricted their eating in the eating disorder, describe that the feeling of control plays a decisive role: wanting to control food, but also over feelings or one's own life (see thoughts and feelings in the eating disorder) . Many of our narrators emphasize that in addition to the eating disorder, they also had to struggle with other mental illnesses or problems: in particular compulsions and depression, but also addictions, sleep disorders, personality disorders, fears and panic disorders. Often the eating disorder and the difficulties in the other areas aggravated each other - depression, for example, was made worse by being underweight, but at the same time appeared to be a reason for the eating disorder.
Hannah Becker says that at some point her whole life became inflexible with the eating disorder.
Eating disorder is about more than food and figure
The narrators make it clear that for them the eating disorder is not only related to weight control and losing weight or a certain ideal of beauty. They describe a much more complex event in which very different factors play a role: control, dealing with feelings, compulsions, family and other life history experiences, eating habits and much more. Many of our narrators have seen their thoughts and feelings change during the eating disorder (see Thoughts and Feelings in the Eating Disorder). Sophia Gesinger says that the eating disorder was something that at least worked in her life when she felt she had no control over the other areas.
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