Are you going to argue with your mother

sofatutor magazine student

Fear, insecurity, grief, feelings of guilt - when the parents separate, you have to struggle with a great emotional chaos. You can find out here how to bring order to the situation for yourself.

Don't blame yourself. If parents separate, they are solely responsible. Children are never to blame for their parents' separation - never! You might be thinking, "If I had cleaned my room more often, there wouldn't have been so much arguments." Don't tell yourself that. A tidy room, better grades, etc. would not have changed anything. Parents are getting divorced because they see no future in their relationship. It has nothing to do with you.

Talk about your feelings and needs. After a breakup, parents are mostly preoccupied with their own feelings. You are sad and hurt. But you are too and you can be. Don't eat your feelings and needs into yourself. Talk to them openly - even in front of your parents. Tell them how you feel and what you are afraid of. So they can take away your fear and be there for you. If you don't talk to them, they won't know what you need and how to help you.

With fun to learning success - that's how it's done

Ask for help when you need it. If your parents can't be there for you the way you need them, ask for help. Contact friends, relatives, or a trusted tutor. Talk to them about the situation at home. If no one is around to talk to, call the number against grief. Here you will be listened to and also helped.

Don't let it make you feel guilty. Have you spent more time with your dad than with your mom - or the other way around? Now do you have a guilty conscience because you notice that this makes your mom or dad sad? Realize that you are not responsible for your parents' feelings. They broke up. You didn't choose the situation. Now they have to deal with the fact that you spend time alone with your mom or dad.

Let the sadness out. Pouring in feelings is never good. Sooner or later they'll come out anyway. So cry when you're sad - and when you need it, cry for hours too. You'll see, you'll feel a little better afterwards.

Ask if you need an answer. Are you unsure because you don't know when you will see your dad or mom again? You're scared because you don't know how B. what Christmas looks like now? Then ask your parents. Ask anything you want to know so that your insecurity and fear go away.

Don't take everything personally. Did your mom or dad yell at you about something or say something stupid to you? Your parents are probably very stressed about the new situation. Don't take everything personally. Give them some time to get used to the new circumstances. You will see that the minds calm down again.

Demand a say. In the event of a divorce or separation, a lot has to be clarified and decided. When it comes to decisions that affect you, you have a say. Tell your parents that you want to be asked about anything that affects you.

Stay out of your parents' argument. Your mother talks badly about your father and your father badly about your mother? Make it clear to both of them that this is their fight and that you don't want anything to do with it. You should work it all out among yourself. You don't have to take either side or mediate between them. This is not your job.

Conclusion: When parents separate, it leads to a chaos of emotions. Let your feelings out and talk about your desires and fears. Make it clear to your parents that you don't want to have anything to do with their argument so that you will eventually get better.

You might also be interested in these articles:

Cover picture: © Daisy Daisy /

What to do now ...

  1. motivation in learning is the key to success! Get those now Motivational tipsin this video.
  2. Go to Journey of discovery and see how sofatutor can help you learn.
  3. Talk to your parents and test sofatutor 30 days long free.

More related articles

Election Challenge 2021: Shoot your own educational video and explain the federal election

In September the Germans put two crosses and elect a new government. Do you know how such a federal election works and what a compensation mandate is? If so, pull out your smartphone, explain it to others and win a new iPhone or other great prizes in sofatutor's election challenge. Was Angela Merkel Federal Chancellor all your life? [...]

These are the winners of sofatutor's Abitur challenge!

If the learning stress also has something good: sofatutor's Abitur challenge made inspiring & funny contributions, which of course are also influenced by Corona. We introduce the three winners. Spoiler: The winning teams have become! How do students learn for the most important exams of their school career when everything around them is different than usual? As […]

The 14 Best Learning Strategies For School: How To Achieve Your Learning Goals!

What is the best and fastest way to learn? You should be familiar with these top learning strategies in order to optimally prepare for each exam. Have you ever tried to talk to yourself? What do you want to know about learning strategies? Why are learning strategies important? The 14 best learning strategies at a glance 1. Index cards to review 2. Memory for school 3. Self-talk, [...]

Exam anxiety - these 11 tips will help you stay relaxed

A little nervousness is part of every exam and even increases performance. However, if you have this feeling so severe that it paralyzes you, you are likely suffering from test anxiety. Here's what you can do about it. What is exam anxiety Typical symptoms of exam anxiety in children Causes of fear of tests and exams What [...]

8 learning techniques: this will help you memorize the school material better

Are you practicing for class work, but can't remember anything? We'll tell you which eight methods and tricks you can use to improve your learning technique. Learning techniques: what is it? Learning techniques: what are they? Gaining an overview Understanding content instead of reading texts Taking notes Simulating a test Taking breaks SQR3 method Learning while sleeping Speed ​​reading Visualization The curve [...]

Abi-Challenge: Win 2000 € for the Abitur!

You are on the home straight: Only a few more weeks and you have finally got your high school diploma in your pocket! In order to support you and your Abitur class, the learning platform sofatutor awards 2000 euros for the best post about your everyday learning! Filling the Abikasse with your mail The exam preparations are in full swing and you and your [...]

68 series and films for learning English

Regardless of whether you are just starting to learn English or are already a language professional: With these 68 English films and series you can playfully improve your listening comprehension and expand your vocabulary. What do you want to know? That's why you improve your English by watching TV 8 tips: How to watch English films and series correctly 10 English series for [...]

9 tips for beautiful handwriting

Pig claw, scrawl, doctor's writing - those who write in a messy way don't make a good impression. In the worst case, even the grades suffer. These nine tips will help you develop beautiful handwriting. Why is proper handwriting important? Your own writing is often referred to as the "mirror of the soul". Therefore it can also be very individual. But at the same time it is a [...]

How do you design a poster for school?

Whether for a lecture or for the presentation of the results of group work - posters are popular in the classroom and with teachers. When designing, however, you should pay attention to a few things. Here you will find valuable tips on how to make your poster informative and visually appealing. 👀 No time to read? - Let the video explain it to you! 🙌 [...]