What are you sad about right now?

You're sad? THIS always has a reason

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When we are sad, there is always a reason:

Something is lost
went.

The hamster (I thought it was 100!).
The boyfriend (I thought he really loved me!).
The woman (I hoped death would separate us, but I thought we had more time, just a little more time).

Or our youth and health, when tight strength gives way to cramping veins, skin flaps and rotten bones and every stooping becomes a bet that demands some optimism from us. Or the trust in one person or in all people, a hope or expectation, the job, maybe also the big dream that we have to bury. Or the feeling of being in control, of being on the lever and somehow knowing about life.

Then grief sets in, often after the psyche has stopped in shock and denial, anger and the attempt to control one's own feelings. The tears indicate: we no longer fight against reality, we no longer negotiate. We feel how important the lost was to us and look the consequences of the loss in the eye.

Like a law of nature, grief forces us to relive the bond with this valuable person, animal, object or this idea very intensely, to sound out the depth of our feelings ... in order to then say goodbye and be able to give it a new place in us. To heal, to become whole again, don't without, rather With what is no longer there and still remains.

The power that was previously bound to the past is released again. A new balance possible in us. Space created for a present and a future.

To be sad does not mean drowning in tears. Still forgotten. It enables us to be aware of the meaning of what is lost, but purified, in peace, not in a pain that kills us.

There is no life without grief, but there is always life after grief.

P.S .: If you don't really know why you are so sad, the question is: “What have I lost?

P.P.S .: If you want to learn to allow and let go of sadness and other feelings, the myMONK book will help you: How to let go of worries, stress and self-doubt.

Photo: Vincent Albanese

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