Highly intelligent people argue a lot

Success strategies: 7 things that emotionally intelligent people do without

  • management
Success strategies 7 things that emotionally intelligent people do without

© Marie Maerz / photocase.de

In order to stay calm in stressful situations, you have to be in control of your emotions. This can be achieved with these seven success strategies of emotionally intelligent people.

There are people who know how to perceive and control their own emotions. They are more successful than others because they stay calm in sticky situations. You make yourself less stressful and you are less stressed by others. This skill can be learned. On his blog, Travis Bradberry, author of the bestseller "Emotional Intelligence 2.0", explains how important it is to look at what these people are doing - but also what they are not doing.

1. Perfection

Yes, it would be nice if everything always went perfectly - but it doesn't. Emotionally intelligent people know this and therefore do not set themselves the goal of perfection. Instead, they see mistakes as opportunities to improve. Whoever tries to work perfectly and get perfect results is constantly annoyed that he did not achieve his goals. In the long run, this is frustrating and unsuccessful.

2. Compare

On the other hand, the grass is always greener - sounds trite, but it's true. People with a high level of emotional intelligence do not compare themselves to others because their self-confidence does not depend on their successes. And if you are satisfied with yourself, you will not let anyone influence you in this feeling. Bradberry advises being generally skeptical of other people's opinions, including the good ones. He says: "You are never as good or bad as others say."

3. Resentful

As an emotionally intelligent person, you know that there is no point in harboring grudges. Because of this, emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive mistakes without being unforgiving. If you focus on something negative for too long, it can trigger stress, which in the worst case can lead to high blood pressure and heart disease.

But forgiving does not mean forgetting. Emotionally intelligent people forgive a serious mistake, but they remember it - and know who they can trust which tasks in the future. "You are protecting yourself from future harm," writes Bradberry.

Also read our article "Emotional intelligence: 5 skills for more success - and how you can train them."

4. Unnecessary arguments

There are conflicts that cannot be avoided. Which you have to carry out, otherwise in the long run they lead to a bad mood and bigger arguments. But if you can control your emotions and read them correctly, you know when it is really worth fighting a fight - and when it is better to forego it. Conflicts always cost energy, which emotionally intelligent people prefer to invest in other areas.

5. Live in the past

Nobody is perfect, and mistakes can keep your confidence going. It's difficult to get over it after a setback and start all over again. But those who are emotionally intelligent know that there is no point in living in the past. “Most of the time, failure comes from taking a risk and trying something that isn't easy,” says Bradberry. The ability to move on after failure is one of the main reasons for the success of emotionally intelligent people. When living in the past, fear of failure keeps people from believing in themselves. Bradberry warns, "Then the past becomes the present and you can't move forward."

6. Focus on problems

The more you deal with problems and mistakes, the worse you feel. Negative emotions lead to stress and keep you from being successful and productive in the long run. Bradberry advises focusing instead on how to improve. "Emotionally intelligent people don't get stuck on problems because they know they'll work most effectively when they instead focus on solutions."

7. Negative people

They are almost everywhere: people who complain about anything and everything. For whom every day is a bad day and who always suffer the most of all. Of course, it's okay to show understanding and listen to those who are struggling. But when you spend too much time with negative people, it is harder to stay positive yourself. And staying positive is one of the most important skills of emotionally intelligent people. Bradberry says, “A good way is to ask people who complain how they're going to solve a problem. You are then either calm or direct the conversation in a productive direction. "

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