What is a platonic relationship

Platonic - What does platonic love mean?


You have met several times and you have a good feeling, but at the last meeting she explains to you that she wants to keep the relationship between you purely platonic. What she means by this and whether this is sufficient for you, we explain to you here.

What does “platonic” mean?

First of all, you probably want to know what the word “platonic” actually means. The term “platonic” is derived from the philosopher Plato. However, it was only founded in the Renaissance period and means something like "belonging to the philosophy of Plato." However, the exact meaning of the term has still not been clarified.

Platonic love is understood to be a purely spiritual, not physical relationship, a kind of soulmate. For Plato, platonic love is the highest form of love that can ever be achieved in life. It is worth far more than physical love that it has already left physical desire behind. Your jaws are probably falling right now, because you imagined something else under a platonic relationship.

You are forgetting that you have already had a lot of platonic relationships in your life. This includes all friendships with women with whom you have not felt any sexual attraction.

Is Platonic Love Right For You?

So if she tells you that she wants a purely platonic relationship with you, you've clearly slipped into the friendship zone.

In this case you have to clarify for yourself what you want. Do you also see her as just a very good friend who is always great at your side with her advice? Then everything is perfectly fine. You should continue to lead your deep friendship because finding a soul mate is difficult.

Or do you secretly look at her lips every time you meet and just long to finally kiss them? Then you have a problem. She values ​​your opinion and advice very much and is glad that you are by her side, but she has no attraction at all towards you.

You probably don't want to break contact with her for fear of not seeing her anymore and of losing her. You have two options in this case. Either you try to break out of the friendship zone and make an effort to build feelings for you on their side. Or, if you fail to do this, you terminate the contact. Because if you don't manage to break out of the friendship zone, pure friendship will not be enough for you and cause dissatisfaction on your side.

Can a platonic man and woman relationship work?

American researchers say no. Evolutionary reasons, especially in men, ensure that even in purely friendly relationships there are always thoughts in your head about what your good friend looks like naked and what it would be like to sleep with her.

This is mainly justified by the biology of the man. Men are programmed to look for as many sexual partners as possible in order to spread their own seeds widely and thereby produce many offspring. This is also the reason why almost every man has mentally imagined sex with his good friend, but would never say it out loud.

For this reason, true, purely platonic friendships between men and women are rare, but this does not mean that they do not exist.

If both feel absolutely not attracted to each other, for example because they do not correspond to what we actually want, that one of the two feels more for the other one day, relatively little. Even when the fronts are clearly clarified, for example because both are in a stable and happy relationship, a platonic friendship can work.

What if sexual pleasure is lost in a relationship?

Especially in long partnerships, sexual desire is often lost after a few years. This can lead to frustration, but it doesn't have to be. In such a case, a discussion must be held to clarify whether the situation is okay for both of them or whether one of them is missing something.

Especially for older people who may already be struggling with erectile dysfunction problems, pure platonic relationships are often satisfactory. This can be explained by the fact that sexual desire decreases with age. But especially for younger people, a platonic relationship can be a dead end and lead to cheating. If your partner suddenly no longer wants physical contact in a relationship, you should investigate the cause.

In general, does she not feel physical attraction in men even though she is clearly straight? Or is her demand for a platonic relationship the sign that she no longer wants to be touched by you because your relationship is already cracked?

Even if it seldom happens, there are women who love a man incredibly, but still have no sexual interest in him. In such a relationship it is important that the partners clarify whether the solution might not be for the other partner to seek the sexual satisfaction that he needs outside of the relationship.

An open relationship that is only practiced by one party. If the man's meetings with other women are only for sexual satisfaction and there are no feelings involved, this does not affect the platonic relationship with your partner.

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About the author:

Our magazine mainly fills flirt coach Horst Wenzel and the other lecturers of our Flirt University team. Depending on the topic, we will research for you the best tips on the areas of getting to know, dating and falling in love from academic papers and other well-founded sources. Horst and the Flirt University team also report regularly on their work at our flirt seminars.
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