What is it like to miss someone

To miss is more than just remembering

Last update: 11th September, 2016

Missing someone is one of the most painful feelings you can experience. It's a lot more than just reminding yourself of the good times you had with this person. Although she is no longer part of your life and it has been a long time since she left your life, the memory of her haunts you day and night.

When it hurts to miss someone

There are many people and moments that we can miss: a childhood sweetheart, a good friend, a grandparent who passed away a long time ago, the happy times we spent with our families during our childhood ...

We don't want to miss people, but it's still something we can't control and it hurts a lot. More than just feeling their absence, we feel heaviness in our chests and tears trickle from our eyes. It is an empty space that we cannot fill.

If you love someone deeply, if you've been really happy with someone, the fact that that person is no longer there is definitely a cause for sadness. Of course, it's understandable at first, but after a while you should look ahead and get on with your life.

To miss is more than to remember and it is more than to suffer. Because you can always call up the wonderful memory of a teacher or an excursion, but longing goes much deeper. To miss is to visit the empty space left by the breakup. And it's so difficult to fill it up again!

Missing is difficult to explain

We have the definition of "miss”Looked up in Duden. Maybe it will help us a little further. It is a weak verb that, among other things, has this meaning: "To be aware with regret that someone, something is no longer nearby, is no longer available, and see this as a personal deficiency." From this definition we can draw some conclusions.

So to miss denotes the lack of something that was previously available. If we apply this definition to feelings, we can say that we miss a person when we have seen them many times before, but not now, and when we have loved them very much.

It is also said that we feel personal deficiency due to absence. If you suffer, it is because you have not been able to replace that absence. The space this person occupied is now an empty space that cannot be filled.

Miss or remember?

We have already given the definition of “miss”. But we also need the definition of “remember” to complete the puzzle. In the Duden it says thatrecall among other things has this meaning: "Remembered and become aware of it again."

What can we deduce from this? That memories are kept in the brain! So they are not connected with feelings and if they were we would not get sad or we would not feel like crying. In summary, missing someone means longing for that person and the time that was spent together.

Remembering, on the other hand, brings to mind all the wonderful situations, but leaves out the feeling of longing or nostalgia. In other words, we are invoking something without the feelings from then. Of course, it is difficult to ignore the emotions in remembering; we are neither machines nor robots. But it is often worth trying to avoid the depression, crying, or even hatred that can be induced.

If you want to avoid missing someone as soon as you remember that person, you may want to push those thoughts away from you as much as possible. For example, you shouldn't do things that make you remember their face, words, or moments you shared. Over time, you will find that the memories will stop hurting you and while you miss this person, the empty space they leave won't stop you from moving forward.