Is there really love after love
According to psychologists: We have so many "great loves" in life
Will I meet the great love? Does each of us meet exactly one great love in the course of our life or are there several? Let me now say to all skeptics and lonely hearts: In the course of time we can meet three great loves.
The number 'three' is not necessarily about the number, but about the types of great love relationships. Social psychologists say that there are exactly three kinds of great love in our life. Each of them is different and has a different meaning for our development.
Also read: If you do these 4 things, love will (hopefully) last forever
Video by Aischa Butt
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This kind of love and relationship awaits all of us in life. Each of them is unique and special.
1. The first great love
Yes, the first great love is something very special. We usually never forget them, but we are mostly still young and without any expectations. Because what should we compare our loved ones with? Everything is new and exciting after all. The first kiss, the first time.
And something else is unique about this first great love: we really think that it is forever and ever. Unfortunately, it is not because we are often still young and malleable. We value the opinion of others and allow ourselves to be influenced - also in matters of love.
According to psychologists, the special thing about this love is that we adore and idealize our counterpart. We don't do that anymore afterwards either.
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2. The second great love
After the painful separation from our first great love, we are much more cautious. Eventually we realized that a relationship can fail and how painful a breakup can be.
The second great love is also new in other respects: Both partners are more equal, they are more likely to know what they want and what not than was the case with the first love. And of course that also leads to discussions and Zoff.
We have now become significantly more critical, are discussing more, are more opinionated and also more passionate about many relationships. Often we are more cerebral, want to change the other, try to work on the relationship instead of just being happy.
And so it is not uncommon for us to hold on to the partnership even though it is long too late. But that is also what we usually learn here: To recognize when to draw a line.
Psychologists say about this second great love (which we can meet several times until the third great love comes): In this kind of relationship we learn a lot about ourselves and our way of having relationships. It is therefore very important.
Then we know who makes us happy and who doesn't, what we need, what kind of closeness and distance is right for us. An instructive love, so to speak.
Also read:"Love is ..." 7 things that make up true love
3. The third great love
We come to the third great love. She is the one with whom we know: We want to stay here. And forever. We can imagine a lot with this partner. Live together, get married, have children.
This love is also often one in which we compromise. Because it doesn't catch us skin and hair at first sight, but only after a certain time do we understand that it simply fits.
Our partner may not be like our ideal of him and love is also different. But, and that's the bottom line: it just feels good and right.
We feel that we have arrived, that we are in the right place at the right time. Without a lot of drama, tears and discussions. But just like that. And this third love should be held fast - forever.
Also read: Falling in love & falling in love: do we have no influence on our feelings?
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