What do you hate about football?

Football is the biggest shit

Football in the shit pile from VICE Media.

First of all, I have to admit that I also enjoy an active table football with my friends from time to time, so I have absolutely nothing to object to playing football as an activity. What I'm more concerned with about Oasch are all the guys who just watch football and don't talk about anything else. I don't mean the village alcoholics, pregnant with splashes, who would like to cut off the referee every Sunday at the regional league match on the sports field of the community of 2,000 residents, but who usually fail without complaint in articulating the same intention. Rather, I mean these inflated model metros and their following. Here are a few reasons why I hate football from the bottom of my heart.

It seems like it got cool to like soccer

WTF? How did this happen? Maybe because of this English Chav, who actually managed to get a lot of men to wear such hairstyles in combination with Flinserln a few years ago. Maybe it's because The time has introduced its own football site or the youth broadcaster FM4 has been organizing the World Cup quarter for years. Or it has to do with the fact that Miley Cyrus and O.C. California is good and the "secret favorite song" has suddenly just become the favorite song. Maybe hell is just freezing over.

Photo credit: kenjipunzalan {http://www.kenginapunzalan.com} via photopincc

Another explanation why everyone has been enjoying football for a few years now could be because kicking a ball is really fucking easy. You can put the round leather on each child and, if they can already walk, they can kick it with their foot. This feeling seems to lead many people to believe that they could play with the pros and of course do everything better. But what really annoys me is that you suddenly find yourself among the underdogs of the underdogs, if you are not interested in the World Cup, Champions League or the like. What happened to the days when jocks were still jocks, the cool kids were still slackers and the footballers were idiotic, suburban, underclass men with untrimmed mustaches?

The fan slogans

Already clear. Just as election campaign slogans do not claim to be literarily valuable, linguistic jokes were also at the bottom of the list of priorities for the fan choirs when the first with the ingenious slogan "OLÉ !!!" rose from the Soccer Think Tank. But just when you think they are so stupid that they could be funny again, you realize that it is the most racist, most insulting nonsense you have ever heard - and when 22 sweaty men run through the stadium, yourself Hugging after goals, grabbing each other's balls on a free kick, and being supported by mostly male fans, you have to ask yourself what homophobic slogans are actually doing there.

The idolatry of the player

The players themselves cannot help the fact that they often have problems getting a straight sentence out - after all, special talents are brought out of the classic school career early enough and later find it very difficult to accept that they are not above the law . However, I then ask myself whether the god complexes of some famous footballers have to be promoted through such an inflated media presence and completely unreflected, collective crawling in the ass just because that person is particularly good at handling balls.

There is an incredible amount of money in football

All of that would be crappy enough if there wasn't so much money invested in this sport. I don't need to go into detail here that the football landscape in Austria looks comparatively modest. Nonetheless, public television constantly shows games and footballers also earn sums in this country that those who practice other sports can only dream of. Maybe it would be cool if professionals from other sports could also make a living from sport and footballers would have to drive cars with 200 hp less. Because basically it's all about - and you have to keep this in mind - to bring the round into the square.

People actually get together over it

If the wrong team wins, the fans like to hit each other in the goslings. Sometimes a draw is enough or just that no sun is shining. Not that I don't care, as long as it happens by mutual agreement - when a hooligan idiot hits the other in the head - but when some outsiders get bullied or guys who really just want to watch a match in the stadium, that's it more than despicable again. Why don't these thugs just fuck their girlfriends instead? True, beer-bellied hooligan prolos rarely have a girl. What might be the reason ... How about at least losing energy in the form of martial arts instead of attacking others because of a damn soccer team? Or (beware of obesity criticism :) you try it out yourself, let's say, for example, PLAYING FOOTBALL?

The sport is boring

Strangely enough, football is actually relatively boring to look at. For example, points are constantly being made in a basketball match, a soccer game can look like this:

90 minutes and no goal? Very exciting.

The associated patriotism

I don't just mean the obvious German, Swiss or Austrian flags that hang from the walls of houses and, paired with the often nationalistic slogans shouted in chorus, naturally make the last meal come up. But what annoys me almost more in everyday life is the classic "Yesterday homma gwunna". Ah, "we" have won. And what exactly did you contribute to it? Pouring beer into you in front of the TV and pretending to play along, even though you had problems getting to the fridge in the second half due to your literal and metaphorical fat? Very good, I hope you will help "your" team again next week. But please don't tell me about it then.

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