Why do some people ignore text messages

React when someone ignores you

  • 1

    Why is the person ignoring you?[1] She ignores you intentionally or accidentally. Last time you spoke, was the person angry or hostile? Did you say something that offended her? If so, is the person still braising about it? If you had a great time last time, could it be that some external factor caused the person to accidentally ignore you? Maybe she has to study for an exam or she may have fallen in love.

  • 2

    Ask a third person why you are being ignored. If the person ignoring you is a friend or coworker, ask a mutual friend or coworker if they know why you are being ignored. Perhaps that mutual friend can tell you or explain why the person is ignoring you. You may have pissed them off without even realizing it, but instead of telling you directly, the person chose to ignore you so the conflict doesn't worsen. A third party may be able to look at the situation more objectively and help you figure out why you are being ignored.

  • 3

    Directly ask the person ignoring you why they are doing this. Confront the person who is ignoring you. Ask for a private conversation. In a quiet, undisturbed place, ask in a relaxed manner: "Hey, I wonder why you're ignoring me." Provide evidence that the person is ignoring you, such as not calling back or replying to emails, or not replying when you speak to them. Listen carefully to the explanation.[2]


    Amber Rosenberg is a certified life, career, and leadership coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has more than 20 years of experience in consulting and background knowledge from corporations, technology companies and non-profit organizations. Amber was trained at the Coaches Training Institute and is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF). She has helped thousands of professionals find fulfillment in their careers.

    Amber Rosenberg, PCC
    Career advisor

    Our expert agrees: Being direct is usually the best practice. If you think someone is ignoring you, speak up. Use solid, non-defensive language like, "I feel like you're ignoring me. Do I see that correctly?" This can help you figure out where you stand without looking aggressive or putting the other person into a defensive stance.

  • 4

    Is it manipulative behavior? If this is the first time the person has ignored you, then maybe there is a good reason. If your friend or coworker has done this several times, including with others, then it may be satisfying in some way.[3] Perhaps by doing this he is also trying to excuse or condone certain behavior. Or maybe the person is ignoring you to disempower you. She might say, "If you really knew / loved me, you wouldn't have to ask me why I am ignoring you." All of the above examples are signs of a narcissistic personality that you should recognize and not encourage.