Why do people try to impress others

4 tricks on how to impress others without being impressive

How to impress weak people without having to acquire any real skills

These tricks have been used by charlatans, con artists, and self-proclaimed gurus for tens of years. In the last few years these three groups have been grouped under the title “Coach”.

Yeah yeah, I know there are a couple of decent coaches out there. But not many.

However, one important preliminary remark: These tricks only impress weak people.

People who think for themselves, question themselves and at least occasionally take proactive action are NOT impressed by these tricks. But how many are there already? Just. So you have a very broad base on which to let off steam.

The tricks essentially consist of “Truisms”, statements that are guaranteed to always be true, such as “You have had problems in your relationships before, sometimes bigger and sometimes smaller.” Really?

When I notice that something like this is too flat for the person I'm talking to, there are four classics that work for most people. “Functioning” here explicitly does NOT mean that the tricks bring a gain in truth or benefit, because they are completely useless for the other. But they impress a lot of people.

Trick 1: Tell them they are "too tense".

You can tell beginners in no matter what they are too tense - because beginners are mostly tense. Advanced learners are a little less tense. Even masters are tense at times.

The impressive effect of this trick is supported by the fact that, especially since the 1960s, the illusion has spread that there is something like a comprehensive “self-confidence” that we should strive for, a state of almost permanent relaxation, competence and inner security. But this condition does not exist.

Trick 2: Say "You are too much on your mind"

I can also say to a beginner: You are too much in your mind - growth and real understanding do not come from the mind. This is true. Most of the time, when we start something new, we try it out of the mind first.

The mind promises us an illusion of security. This illusion looks pretty real, but it isn't. But we keep falling for it.

Trick 3: "You are aware of deficiency!"

Man is almost continuously in deficiency awareness. This is genetically programmed because our ancestors could not survive until about 10,000 years ago without being aware of deficiency.

In the self-help movement of the 1960s in particular, however, the illusion has spread that we could just switch to the consciousness of abundance “just by making a decision”.

Today's reality in western modern societies is abundance. But the awareness of deficiency is NOT a decision, but is materially anchored in the brain as an automatic. Apparently there are ways of overcoming or circumventing this, but this is not “just a decision”, but a lengthy process.

So if I say to my counterpart "You are conscious of deficiency", then I am very likely to be correct. We hardly get out of the number either.

Trick 4: Mention the fear of "failure" and rejection

What is "failure" really? Besides, if I “fail” in disarming a bomb (I don't really care what comes next) or anything that has REAL consequences, most of the time “failure” means that a few people think I don't have something done well enough.

The judgment of these people is also usually not very well trained. Overall, human judgment is truly spotty, because of our limited perspective and perception. So it doesn't really matter if other people judge me.

Mind you, judging is different from thoughtful, specific feedback that relates to my behavior and actions, not to the evaluation of myself.

Judgments are irrelevant. The judgments of others about me, my judgments about others or my own judgments about myself. They have no relevant content.

But judgments are linked to social status. I fear loss of status. The people who grant or remove my status are at least as limited as I am. Therefore their status thinking is completely irrelevant.

Unfortunately, my brain reacts to low status with stress, although this is completely nonsensical in modern society. But I can't get out of the number.

I can use all of these things to impress others.

This first appears competent when my counterpart is weak, young, inexperienced and insecure. But it is of no use to him.

If I really had skills, I would not limit myself to naming problems, but would offer practical solutions.

The point is just that there are no practical solutions to these 4 problems.

They are part of the human genetic heritage.

With a lot of life experience, they become a little easier to handle. That's it.

At best, the tension is reduced when I have mastered my work area really well - but then it only decreases as long as I am in my work area. As soon as I leave the terrain that I know, the tension is back immediately.
There is no such thing as the internal security that we all want.

So, if you want to impress others without bringing any benefit, these are 4 possible approaches.



Cover photo: Philipp_Stegmann


(2 votes, average: 5,00 out of 5)
Loading ...

Category: WorkTags: Beginner, Competence, Strategy